My Bus is Better Than Your Bus

Everyone I know who has been to Turkey raves about the busses here.  Other methods of travel (train, plane, automobile) are often discouraged in favour of these almighty busses.  It left me wondering - what's all the fuss about?

Passengers take a bio-break; the bus washes up as well

Let's compare them to Canadian Greyhound busses, considering the following questions:

• Is the bus made by Mercedes?
• Does the bus carry three staff members in addition to the driver to make your ride more pleasant?  If yes, is one of these staffers a bow-tied waiter who brings you hot and cold drinks and snacks throughout the ride?
• Does the bus have individual TV screens? If yes, is one of the channels a stalker cam with a view through the windshield of the bus to see how the driver is doing?
• Does someone go through the bus refreshing it after every stop (collecting garbage, spraying air freshener, and general bus hygiene)?
• Is there a refreshing lack of cannibalism?  [added by Chad]

If you answered yes to any of the questions above, I want to know what part of Canada you live in.  In the meantime, you can find me on the Turkey-has-awesome-busses bandwagon.